Since January, I’ve been involved in a project on NPR.org called “The Baby Project.” We decided to follow nine women who were giving birth this summer in the last month of their pregnancy and the first month of life with their baby. It goes hand in hand with a birthing series running on All Things Considered. I’m one of three blog hosts.
Coincidentally, before the project launched, but after I was committed to carrying it out, I found out I was pregnant. I told my story on the blog: A Change Of Heart And A Leap Of Faith — and it went live two weeks ago while I was in Yosemite with A.
Of course, there is so much more to say — and as my body was changing (emotionally, physically), I was tempted to write about each detail on this blog. My nausea. My exhaustion. How overwhelmed I felt. Seeing the baby’s heartbeat. How I shook when I told family. My nervousness around the baby’s screening for genetic abnormalities and the relief and giddiness when I was told the chances are very, very slim. The intense emotions — I tear up at any mention of abandoned or abused children (that was surprising). And how god damn much I missed A. as we were experiencing something so intense.
But it was important for A. to tell his parents in person at the end of June. And it was important for me to tell as many friends as I could in person — I told my friend A. in Seattle on the last day of our West coast road trip on July 15.
Now I’m nearly 22 weeks along and I can write more freely and honestly — like how I fell in love with our baby’s chubby cheeks and bubble butt when we had a sonogram today (which, by the way, said that everything is progressing normally). And I’m really excited.