dreams and all kinds of ridiculous

Since A. left for Afghanistan, I’ve had two dreams where I’ve been mad at him — both times because I felt abandoned. It doesn’t take a dream analyst to know that I’m still grappling with him not being by my side when I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night. But what I find amusing (after the fact, of course) is that unsettled feeling from the argument lingers and that I wouldn’t mind an apology. For my dream. For things that A. did not actually do. But yes, an apology would be nice.

The first time it happened, A. said, “You want me to apologize for your dream?” And we laughed a little bit. I know it’s ridiculous and just saying it makes me laugh.

This morning, I woke up and sent A. an email about my dream — trying to make the crazy that goes on in my brain sound as coherent as possible. I wrote that we were at a massive sports complex/concert venue — and my cousin Kate was there [weird], as was my coworker Ali [weird]. I decided to go for a swim in a humongous pool where I saw an old high school soccer teammate Jess [weird] and when I got out, I couldn’t find A. [see earlier note about dream analysis]. He still didn’t show up overnight and I was hanging out with some friends. When he did come back the next morning, he was hung over [A. can’t drink on the base and doesn’t drink that much, anyway]. He had gone to the concert and ended up sleeping on the floor of a random girl’s place. And in my dream, I wasn’t mad, but thought I should be mad, so then I became mad. [Read: Ridiculous].

A., who in real life has a cold and isn’t getting much sleep, sent me an IM this morning saying hello, and then: “Sorry I abandoned you at the concert.”

Sigh. What a good man.

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